Manifestly Ridiculous

A AW

There’s a new fad in town! All the ‘wellness’ experts are ecstatic, thrilled to bits at all the miraculous things they’ll be able to help people to achieve, and all the money they’re going to make from it!

Yes folks, roll up, roll up! The new buzzword is… Manifestation!! And it’s set to take over the world, or so they’d have us believe.

Manifestation is strikingly similar to the last great fad, the magic book that sold in its millions, The Secret. That too was baloney, and this is the same sort of vapid quackery guaranteed to relieve the stupid and gullible of their cash.

The principle is straightforward. All you have to do is visualize whatever it is you desire, and hey presto! your fantasy will turn to reality as if by magic. Want a new car? It will be yours before you know it. Want more romance in your life? Just visualise your heart’s desire and it will be yours. Yes folks, eternal happiness can be yours for the imagining.

The process starts with a little meditation, now being touted as the key that opens the door to manifestation. Meditation helps relieve yourself of all your emotional baggage and teaches you to be a happy person, content as content as can be with your lot.

Interestingly, the followers of manifestation seem to be middle class women with few financial worries and above average disposable income.

Coincidentally, these are the same people who ten years ago swore blind that ‘the universe will provide’ and that would include everything from money, exotic holidays, a new house… the list is endless. It’s all made possible by strengthening your energy field. The scientific basis for this claim is unsurprisingly, a closely guarded secret, but I suspect it’s got something to do with allowing oneself to daydream and become delusional.

Here’s another coincidence – the people who indulge themselves in this twaddle have an almost uncanny ability to ignore the real world, preferring to immerse themselves in a self-indulgent fantasy existence where everything is wonderful all the time. The advantage for husbands is that whilst they are the ones paying the bills, at least they don’t have to worry about this missus shagging the chauffeur. Unless, god forbid, she starts shagging the manifestation guru, all will be peace and quiet at the golf club.

One of the reasons Manifestation has more than just the new ‘in thing’ apart from the obvious fact that the old thing is now so last year, is because its accompanying commandments are ludicrously simple. One must first learn how to breathe and be patient. Ker-ching!!! That will be fifty quid please! Followed by the absolutely unmissable (and inevitable) invitation to take part in weekend retreats, seminars with ‘star’ speakers and teachers who no doubt regale their enthralled audience with tales of their own success before selling the assembled suckers (there really is one born every minute) a plethora of overpriced, non-peer reviewed special diets, books, CD’s, beads, meditation mats and related trinkets and paraphernalia.

If this sort of shit really worked, there wouldn’t be lines of half-starving refugees trudging through Europe or any babies dying from AIDS in Africa. Like The Secret, Manifestation is exclusively for the wealthy – the poor don’t get a look in.

Maybe it’s also a way of hiding from the horrors of the modern world, the drudgery of having to get up in the morning and get the kids to school and making sure there’s something on the table when they come home.

Life isn’t fair. In the long run, acceptance of this one true fact is the real road to happiness. Only once one has recognized that life can rarely be perfect can one recognize the things that make it worth living. That must be manifestly obvious.

Copyright Andrew Newton 2016. All rights reserved.